Too Absent Herald

Okay, I’ve been trying to get this expanded since thanxgivin, but I just dont have the time, so:

How to Design a New Model Car (Taurus)
by FORD Motor Company

1. Sharpen a pencil.

2. Find a biggish sheet of paper.
3. Make a clear and precise recreation of the engine plans and specs for a 1972 LTD Coupe.
4. Smudge the drawing.
5. Draw a football around the engine and driveshaft.
6. Draw a line through the football, lengthwise.
7. Erase bottom curve
8. Add Tires.

9. Jack up rear suspension.
10. Sell car to rental agencies.
11. Claim a Net Operating Loss Deduction on corporate taxes.
12. Vote Republican.
13. Repeat process every November.

Note 1: for vans, change “football” to “rugby” ball.

Note 2: For “car of the future” skip steps 7 and 9.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 23rd, 2004 at 10:24 am and is filed under the small stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.