On the Anger that Pervades a Missed Connection
A few weeks ago, I had an altercation while walking my dog. It ended peaceably, with me walking away as the other guy yelled names at me. Since I didn’t feel like the encounter ended well, with us not listening to each other, I wanted to do something about it. So I posted a letter to him on the Missed Connections section of Craigslist. The following is the letter and the host of angry responses that I received:
To Guy on his Front Porch Who I still Don’t Think Got What I was Saying:
Do you remember the argument that we had last week while you were sitting out on your front porch? I’m not happy about the way it ended, with us agreeing to disagree, and I feel like if I could state my case once more, that you might see my side of the matter. Some of this may sound familiar, but I am going to lay out my whole argument once again, and I think that you might find yourself nodding in assent.
If my dog defecates on your lawn, then I am legally and ethically obligated to clean it up. I will not argue with that contention. But what if my dog’s gut is in a bind, as happens after stealing a pound of brick cheese, sliced with wax paper separations? Her movements will not be clean, and the breaks will be a mess. But I recognize that if my dog moves her bowels upon your lawn, no matter how gross, it is my duty to pick it up. I think that thus far we are in agreement.
Now consider the case of my dog having a wet movement on your lawn beside a previously extant pile of another dog’s contrivance. I contend that I can choose which pile to pick up, the fresh or the preexisting one. And you replied that I was responsible for my own dog’s bit, and nothing more. It is here that I feel we could not see eye to eye.
But I have thought of an analogy that may get this conversation back in gear. Consider the case of walking down the street and accidentally dropping a gum wrapper. Upon looking down, you notice that there are two gum wrappers, only one of which was yours. Must you investigate to see which one was originally yours, or can you pick up either one and get on your way? I say that the choice is yours. Once the wrapper has hit the ground, it is no longer a singular object that belongs to you, but rather represents a debt you owe to society to pick up one gum wrapper. If, for instance, the wrapper fell in a dank puddle, then you may search out for another wrapper to pick up.
It is like a bank. You don’t get the exact dollar bill that you put in. but you get a dollar bill worth the same amount. But that is an asset and we are talking of liabilities here.
I hope that we can both agree here that your lawn is like a bank. If my dog makes a deposit, I will withdraw it or one equal to it. If you want to argue on equality then we are at a different logical step of this argument.
I hope that this extrication of the matter helped out a bit. And I hope that next time you will refrain from calling me a “hobo-sexual” as I walk by your house.
Sincerely, Your Down the Street Neighbor
Responses:
1) Nice, fancy words you used in your argument (or do you
prefer the British “arguement”). Typical of a
liberal, intellectual fascist. You people can explain
away anything. You chose to pick up the mess that was
easier to clean up. Case closed. You acted selfishly.
2)Dog poop is not a fungible commodity. You’re just a person who is trying to justify not cleaning up dog diarrhea.
(I am not Porch Guy)
3) That BS logic sounds like an argument my grandma would come up with just to get out of doing something she found unpleasant. Is that you, grandma? Who compares dog poop to gum wrappers- HONESTLY? And who picks up ONLY the gum wrapper that they dropped when there are two on the ground right next to each other? And you would never give a dollar to the bank knowing that the one you got back later would be in the form of a liquid, would you? Goodness, it’s hard to know what to even respond to with that post, it’s so ridiculous.
P.S. Hobo-sexual! That’s a good one. Maybe he wouldn’t call you that if you didn’t have sex with hobos.
P.P.S. You and your dog smell bad.
4) So then you would have no problem if you and I were in line at the movies and we both dropped our wallets simultaneously, mine containing only a $20 and yours containing your recently cashed paycheck and I pick yours up instead of mine. As you said, “I say that the choice is yours.” Would you have a problem with that?
5) Uh, you don’t get it. You are responsible for your own dogs shit. If your dogs was allowed to eat something fowl, that also is your responsibility. The shit, no matter how stinky or runny, is your responsibility. You are saying; if you son is throwing rocks and breaks a picture window, but there is a pre-existing crack in a small casement window, you should be allowed to pay for the small one??? THE LAW says you are wrong, and I shall quote here, “Allowing a dog to “go to the bathroom” on school grounds, a City park or other public or private property (It is not considered to be a nuisance violation if you immediately clean up after your dog – called “Poop-Scoop” laws in most communities); Allowing your pet to scratch, dig or defecate on any lawn, tree, shrub, plant, building or any other public or private property other than that of the owner or person in charge or control of the animal.”
Be a responsible pet owner, keep you pet out of inappropriate foodstuffs. Clean up after him/her.
6) nah. nope. no way. not fair.
i am not a dog owner, or a property owner (yet). BUT: this is bullshit. or, rather, dogshit.
Pick up the crap *your* dog dumps, and not some other crap. why would you want to scoop someone else’s dogshit, unless it was easier to clean up than your own dog’s shit?? that’s just not fair or right. you make it sound like your own dog may have had some massive & messy pooping going on, and you didn’t want to clean it up, so you went for the old dried poop instead. CHEATER!!!!
better still: keep your dog from pooping on other people’s property. i don’t think ANYONE appreciates that, even if you do clean it up.
i don’t think it IS like a bank. i think you should clean YOUR dog’s poop, and YOUR dog’s poop only.
7) First off, thank you for that insight into insanity. Your swiss cheese logic had me rolling on the floor. You don’t get to choose a nicer poop to pick up if youre unhappy with the excrement your dog dispenses. Don’t be a jerk. Clean up your dog’s diarrhea AND PICK UP YOUR GUM WRAPPER WHILE YOU’RE AT!
8) Yeah, that may be the worst logic I have ever heard. Just grow up and pick up your dog’s icky poop and be glad this guy didn’t give you any more grief. If you are that immature, maybe you should rethink having a pet in the first place.
There were about a dozen more, but they largely became repetitive. So my question is, why did this incident/ letter make people so angry?
July 15th, 2006 at 1:16 pm
Personal space. It’s the only thing people think they have left in this world which is becoming more and more of an illusion. Property is everything. Your neighbor probably felt his personal space was violated. Everyone else who agreed just piled on.
I have a similar problem. The front of my building smells like rancid dog piss. I live in a decent building so it’s got nothing to do with my zip code. Dog owners/walkers go outside to walk their dogs and the first thing the dog does right out there door is, you guessed it, pee on the building. I complained. The building manager apologized and told me they’re trying everything. Spraying the building with chemicals was one method. The dogs feet were getting chemical burns. Now, that’s the last thing I want but c’mon! The first thing I do when I walk out is smell dog piss.
Personally, I think you should always clean up after your dog. In that case it seems pretty impossible to clean up that mess but you should at least make an attempt. Either that or apologize profusely and guarantee it won’t happen again.
Whatever you do, keep that cheese away from your dog.